Dating Discussion - Is he really worth your time?

I will be the first to admit, I am far from perfect, especially when it comes to dating. As a recently reformed people-pleaser, I know all about the pitfalls of giving 100% when I’m only getting 5% in return and doing everything in my power to make someone else happy. This strategy worked exceptionally well for me for years to attract only the finest narcissistic man-children with mommy issues. Anyone in a relationship where they are paying for everything and accommodating their guy’s schedule without the slightest regard for their own happiness knows what I mean. No judgment, seriously, I have been here over and over.

In the past, I have been with men who frequently put their own schedule’s importance above mine. There were guys with whom I was always the one making dates or making first contact. And then there were the ones who broke promises or broke plans because something else came up that was more important to them. Or the ones who only made plans with me at the last minute. And don’t even get me started on the ones who treated me like a girlfriend but wouldn’t commit and flirted with other girls in front of me. Does any of this sound familiar?

This chick knows how I feel...

I only mention the previous situations because when I decided that I deserved to be treated better by men, these served as the guidelines for shit that I would no longer allow in my life. It is still a work in progress, trust me. However, these observations have made it painfully clear to me that some of my friends are stuck in this same cycle with crappy men who treat them badly. Why the hell do we put up with this? Most of the time, when we find someone we like, we will put up with just about anything in order to ensure they like us. Society teaches us to be soft and pleasant and accommodating but for the most part, when we act that way with men, we get used as a doormat.

Ladies, it is high time that we knock that shit right the hell off. You might end up getting the guy by being overly accommodating but at what cost? Your own happiness? Believe me, peaches, that honeymoon phase with the sparkles and rainbows will fade. In 5 years when you’re frustrated that he doesn’t put any effort into your relationship and you want to stab him in the face for being an asshole yet again, you will wish you had listened to me.

Don't be this girl! Don't do it!

Your happiness is way more important than any guy you might meet. Stop worrying about whether or not he likes you and start figuring out if you actually like him. If you didn’t love him, would you actually want to spend time with him? Or is he kind of boring? Or rude to wait staff? Or a music elitist who constantly tells you your opinion is wrong (this one might be personal)? If you wouldn’t be friends with him outside of your relationship, you may want to reconsider your future with him. And I know this isn’t easy. It is extraordinarily hard to put your feelings aside and actually analyze if you like the person that you love. But it is worth it if you end up finding yourself.

Any guy worthy of being with you has to respect you. Any guy who would treat you in the aforementioned ways doesn’t respect you. You are all unique and gorgeous individuals who deserve to be loved the right way, not half-baked by some guy who can’t figure out how to get his head out of his ass. Remember that and don’t accept anything less than you deserve.

Stay warm, kittens. XOXO - Katz