16 Things I Would Tell My 18 Year Old Self

     

I saw an article the other day doing this very thing and it got me thinking, what is it that I would tell myself at 18.  I would be fresh out of high school, think I know it all, and have no idea of how life was going to turn out.  So I set out to put pen to paper and break it down the best way I know how.  Some of these may overlap and probably could go together, but I went with my gut as I wrote and this is what I came up with.  If only I could talk to that tiny little, Ms. Know-it-All back then.  hahahaha  I was in such a hurry to grow up, move out and work.  It's all I wanted, to be my own person and out from the thumb of my parents.  It's funny how you get exactly what you want!  Time and experience shows you the way and everything always turns out the way it should, that I know.  However, what if I could talk to her and reassure her?  Remove her fears and offer her a way to take care of herself sooner rather than later?  



1     1.  Find your connection to Source.  You’re going to try to find a religion that suites you and it will never make complete sense, that is until you start finding the God and Source of Your Energy on your own and in your own way.  You are a spark of this very entity, divine and loved in ways that you never imagine.  Language will never truly be able to express both the importance and peace that you will have knowing that you are always connected.  No matter what it is that you do or say, you will never be loved any less.  You will never be truly alone in your life. 


2     2.  Learn how to love and empower yourself.  There are many sources available in books, public figures and documentaries that you can utilize to try and find your way.  Ask God/Source to guide you to these, the one’s that will fit you the best.  Use terminology like “I am” to help guide you.  I know it does not feel like it right now.  You probably feel like you know it all already and you have everything figured out, but what you have in front of you at the moment is just a small piece of how great your life is going to be.  The faster you learn to love yourself and practice this every day, the faster you will be able to live the life that was always meant for you instead of living in fear of what anybody else thinks.  You will truly love every single part of yourself and be comfortable in your own skin.  It is a freedom like no other. 


3    3.  Respect your body & heart.  Do not give away your body to a man who does not love you.  Do not ever for a second take for granted that sex does not equal love, and the man who is with you that is unable to make a connection with you in any other way than during a sexual act is NOT the man you want.  You are a deep thinker, a deep lover, and crave intellectual stimulation.  Sex without love and without commitment and without the soul-bonding will never equal happiness for you.  Your heart will never be satisfied.  Don’t you ever, ever, ever settle for a man who will not commit to you, but will play house, who will hide you, and lie to you.  You will know it is happening. 


      4.  Take responsibility for your actions.   You are going to make mistakes.  You are going to need to make things right.  Don’t believe that because you did something you feel is bad that it means you ARE bad.  You will never be bad or mean or awful or unworthy.  You simply made a mistake.  Make it right.  Don’t make excuses for your behavior.  It sucks when other people do it to you instead of just taking responsibility, so don’t you do it.  If you did something wrong, say you did something wrong and ask for forgiveness.  Learn from it.  Don’t keep making the same mistakes over and over again, because then they aren’t mistakes and you need to rethink what is happening within you that you continue to do things that hurt other people and hurt you in the process. 


5    5.  Forgive those that hurt you, learn the lesson, but take no shit.  Unlike #4, you are not always going to be able to prevent situations arising that will not hurt you and sometimes deeply.  You will not be able to see it at the time when you are snotty crying all over your shirt and doing the ugliest cry that man has ever known, but when all of that clears up find the lesson.  There is always one and usually it is how to empower yourself and stop behaviors you were allowing.  These painful situations help to shape you just as much as the perfectly wonderful situations.  A pearl can’t become a pearl without a little sand.  You will have sand.  It’s a promise.  But you will grow from all of it and become better and better the more you learn from them.  None of this means that you need to allow them back into your life either.  You choose and you do not need to have people in your life who have proven that they will hurt you.  You don't need to put up with any shit from anybody.  

 
6    6.  Understand that people will come and go.  It is the nature of the beast.  Friends will phase themselves out over time.  People will die.  Others you will need to be removed from your life for a myriad of reasons or maybe they need to remove you.   As life moves on and we evolve, it is inevitable.  You will always meet new people.  The people that have passed away will be seen again one day and you just need to trust me, they won’t be very far.  Just wait.  You’ll see. 


7     7.  Learn to meditate.  Meditation slows you down and is another tool to use to connect to God/Source.  You will see miraculous things, too!  Learn it early.  Practice it as much as you can.  It will keep you calm and focused.  It will boost your creativity. 


8    8.  Get involved as soon as you can in charity.  There are going to be so many things you will want to get involved in when you’re older and wonder why you didn’t carve out some of your time to do it earlier.   Getting involved in social issues that need attention are going to bring you a joy that is indescribable.  It’s a calling that will serve you well.  It will keep you humble.  It will keep your priorities straight. 


9    9.  Give gratitude every single day.  If you want to be in love with your life, make sure you give thanks to everything you have.  This will turn your thoughts around even during the hard times that will arise in life.  Being grateful and thankful turns life from being mundane into happiness.  Write it down every day.  This will also cause the Law of Attraction to work for you much quicker. 


1    10.  Use your voice.  It DOES matter, but pick your battles.  When you have something important to say, say it.  You do have purpose in this life and your voice helps you to bring it to life.  However, make sure to check yourself that you aren’t talking simply to be heard and to gain acceptance or approval.  It is a slippery slope when you go outside of yourself for approval.  Sometimes you will find yourself in a place when someone else will disagree with you and it is much more important to them than it is to you, let them have it.  You don’t have to be right all the time.  You may actually learn something in the meantime.


      11.  Learn to love solitude.  You’re going to want to be out and partying, and be surrounded by people a lot.  Try to learn to stay home and have time just to yourself.  Those moments are so golden.  You will love to learn those moments that you get to have all to yourself, but it will take you a long time to accept them if you don’t learn early on.  What will have felt like a punishment will really be a little piece of time just for you, and you will treasure it.  Learn it early so you skip the middle crappy feelings that were for nothing. 


      12.  Embrace your creativity.  You see people taking beautiful pictures, singing awesome songs and painting.  You can do that, too.  It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece for the world, it is only for you.  It will keep your brain fresh and release tension that has built up.  Paint what you want to and hang it on your wall.  Be proud of it.  Get a nice camera and take lots of pictures; you will find many that inspire you to do more.  And for all that is beautiful in this world, don’t stop singing.  I don’t care if it is in your kitchen, in you car, the shower or in karaoke.  Just do it.  You love it.  Do it just because you love it and don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks about it. 


       13.  Eat good food.  Learn how to eat foods that are clean and healthy.  Learn how to make them palatable for you early on.  You will wish you had later on when you’re trying to lose that 40 lbs. you can’t get rid of, because you liked Cheetos for years long than you should have.  Trust me.  You might stick up your nose at a carrot and some lettuce now, but one day you will eat it all the time and love it.  Save yourself the time later on trying to figure it out and the frustration.  You have all the tools you need now.  Embrace your inner cooking/baking Goddess. 


1    14.  Don’t ever, ever regret one thing that has happened in your life.  You are going to have amazing things happen and awful things happen.  You will have done some things that you were ashamed of and things you were extremely proud of.  All of these are what you can share with others!  The things you wished could be swept under the rug never to be seen again are the same things someone else is suffering with and they feel all alone.  They are not alone and neither are you.  Live courageously and tell your story.  Help someone else not feel alone.  Be proud of your accomplishments and don’t hide that you are.  Some would love to be proud of themselves, but feel it’s wrong to or that they are bragging.  They need someone to show them that you can be proud of yourself, a warrior, a tri-er, a do-er, and feel good about it.  So many other women and even little girls are watching.  We need more women to show it. 


1    15.  Keep your family closer than your friends.  You are going to think that all of the bar friends you met with that fake license are the people you will know forever, but they aren’t.  Your family will be the people that are there for you always.  Give thanks that you have them and spend time with them.  You will lose grandparents one day and wish that you had.  Remember your roots and give your time and love to them first. Don't wait to become close to your mother until you have kids when they are driving you nuts and you realize this is how she felt, so you call her and apologize for every single thing that you've ever done for her.  Wait!  You may still have to do that.  It's fairly inevitable.  That second child is going to give you a run for your money.  



      16.  Trust your gut feelings.  Always.  Your gut will never steer you wrong.  It is your higher self and your direct connection to God/Source.  It will take you some time as you go through some of these other things to figure this out.  You will doubt yourself even through loving and empowering, doing charity work, and trying to be a good person who listens, but it doesn’t have to be that way.  The more you tune into your gut, the more it will lead you to all of these things. You will never be failed.  You will never be let down.  You can bank on your gut as fact.  Plain and simple.  There are going to be times when you know you have to walk away from something, and you are not going to want to, but try to be strong and trust it.  There is a reason why.  It will save you from so much heartache later on.  Consequently, it is also the direct feeling that will be responsible for guiding you into the life you have always wanted to live.  The gut feeling will bring you so much peace, love, and abundance.  Just follow it.  Remember everything else above that you’ve already learned, and then take your gut feeling with you in combination.  You will be unstoppable.  
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